so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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