I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
