Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
