You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Drunk is a universal language darling
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