god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
