i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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