We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
