I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
