Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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