This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
