hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
