I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
There's even glitter on my cock...
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