I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
