Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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