Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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