is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
