I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
