i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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