I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So apparently I’m into choking now
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