This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
