I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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