playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
