I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
