Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
