farters have to be the big spoon...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
