I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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