Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
