she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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