just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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