just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
