On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
