There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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