I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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