Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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