I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
