hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
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Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
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Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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