Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize