And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize