do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
