Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
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He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
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It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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