Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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