there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
