If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
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i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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