I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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