So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
