So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
