Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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