I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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