All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
