How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
