Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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