I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
