I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
This house was built for laser tag.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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