READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
