Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
