oh god the rape fog is back!
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You're a waste of cheezeits
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
