Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
