hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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