we have officially lost it.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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