Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
