So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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